In this episode, Steve Fretzin and Gary Miles discuss:
- The relationship between physical and mental health.
- The effects of social media.
- Drivers of good mental health and the benefits of having an attitude of gratitude.
- Changing your mindset and improving your health.
Key Takeaways:
- As humans, we compare our worst to other people’s best (what they post on social media).
- Being self aware is one of the biggest drivers of mental health. We need to be aware of our mindset and what we are thinking about.
- Accept everything as it is and just focus on yourself, your reaction, and your responses.
- Every day we have is a gift, don’t squander it.
“There are things in life we can control. What’s the solution to that? Take action, whatever it might be in our business, our practice, or our relationships. But if we can’t control it…try to not worry. It’s easier to say than to do, and that’s a practice like other things.” — Gary Miles
Connect with Gary Miles:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gary-miles-j-d-88615922/
Website: https://www.huesmanjonesandmiles.com/
Connect with Steve Fretzin:
LinkedIn: Steve Fretzin
Twitter: @stevefretzin
Facebook: Fretzin, Inc.
Website: Fretzin.com
Email: Steve@Fretzin.com
Book: The Ambitious Attorney: Your Guide to Doubling or Even Tripling Your Book of Business and more!
YouTube: Steve Fretzin
Call Steve directly at 847-602-6911
Show notes by Podcastologist Chelsea Taylor-Sturkie
Audio production by Turnkey Podcast Productions. You’re the expert. Your podcast will prove it.
FULL TRANSCRIPT
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
people, lawyers, life, feel, healthy, maryland, practice, gary, control, physical health, eat, day, helping, steve, chesapeake bay, grateful, mental health, stress, important, attorneys
SPEAKERS
Narrator, Steve Fretzin, Gary Miles
Gary Miles [00:00]
So that’s how I like to work with people to help them develop those tools and develop their skills because you can’t change the mind. We’ve had our whole life tomorrow just because Gary said live, live live a grateful life or stop resenting people it does doesn’t take them away. It takes time it takes practice.
Narrator [00:22]
You’re listening to be that lawyer, life changing strategies and resources for growing a successful law practice. Each episode, your host, author and lawyer, coach, Steve Fretzin, will take a deeper dive, helping you grow your law practice in less time, greater results. Now, here’s your host, Steve Fretzin.
Steve Fretzin [00:46]
Hey, everybody, welcome to be that lawyer. How’s it going? Hope you’re having a lovely day. You know, for me shot out of a cannon this morning. 515 ready to go had some breakfast. And just thinking about you know how to make the best choices this week as it relates to how I continue to grow my business and help lawyers grow. There’s love the marketing, the creativity, hopefully you get into that I’m helping write book titles for people lately, that’s been kind of a weird little transition. But look, whether you’re writing a book, whether you’re marketing, on social media, whether you’re networking, whatever it is, that’s your jam, you know, do one thing, do one thing every day, one thing every week, make sure that you’re staying active and how you grow your law, practice, and take care of yourself. That’s really important. It’s very hard to stay sustainable and healthy and feeling great and excited about your business. If you’re not if you’re not if you’re not taking care of your physical and mental health. And to help put that to a finer point. I’ve got a guest today who’s been doing law for 30 plus years, and is helping lawyers with their mental and physical health. He’s with a firm, Houston Jones and they say Houston or Hausman, Guzman, Guzman Jones miles and miles. He’s also a success coach. His name is Gary miles. And he’s going to talk to us today about all those wonderful things to keep us keep that motor chugging. How’s it going, Gary?
Gary Miles [02:07]
Dave, I’m doing great. How you doing?
Steve Fretzin [02:09]
Good, good. I’m doing fine. Doing fine. Like I said, Really? Ready to go. today? I’ve got a bunch of great questions for you. And hopefully, you know, we’re gonna have a lively debate and discussion about things. And I’ve had other people on the show talking about this. And I’m hoping you’ve got an angle and a slant I know you do that is unique. So let’s talk a little bit about your background because it isn’t in health and wellness, correct?
Gary Miles [02:30]
It is. I’ve been practicing for 43 years. But I’ve seen kind of The Good, the Bad and the Ugly in law. And I’ve seen the stress that it can create and lawyers and and how lawyers, wow, highly esteemed by many often are very unhappy and dissatisfied with their journey and where they are. And I like to help people with that.
Steve Fretzin [02:50]
Yeah. And so what was your sort of situation where that became a big part of what you wanted to do in? Was there was something that happened with you? Or is it something that you were seeing with other people, and you just helped one and it really took
Gary Miles [03:03]
off or, but really, it started with me primarily about 30 years ago, a little bit over three years ago, I started program recovery, I got sober, I found I was controlled by an addiction to alcohol then I have worked to handle, I now help with what we call the lawyer Assistance Committee of the Maryland State Bar Association trying to find and support lawyers, judges, law students, even who who struggle with health and wellness issues, whether it’s mental health or physical health, and I’ve kind of been on a journey of emotional health and balance and serenity. Since then, more recently, I’ve coupled it with a clean healthy nutrition program, which makes a huge difference because my experiences gut health helps mental health. And you know, when I have those comfort foods, I feel pretty uncomfortable. And when I eat clean and healthy and give my body the right nutrition, I feel so much better. So recently, I really developed a passion for supporting other attorneys. Because I just think there’s so much stress and anxiety in our practice. Some of its client related some of its financial, some of his relationships with other attorneys. Sometimes it’s a toxic work environment. And I like to help people with that.
Steve Fretzin [04:21]
You know, it’s interesting, I you know, obviously helping lawyers on business development, casually mental health, you know, comes up because I’m trying to help them do things that are uncomfortable. And it’s hard enough with an attorney that just never wanted to have to do business development, but then you have someone that suffers from anxiety, depression, you know, substance abuse, etc. And I’m not a therapist, right? I’m not a I don’t have the training for that yet. I have to kind of talk them off a ledge sometimes to get them back on track. And that’s not my job, but I do the best I can and sometimes it works and sometimes it’s just it’s just a tough road. So what are what are you seeing in the legal community again? from lawsuits all the way up that they’re just they’re just really struggling with what are kind of the top three things that you’re seeing that are just out of
Gary Miles [05:06]
control? I think the one is stress. I think lawyers, I think partners and law firms feel stress about financial, how do we end up COVID? Our revenues are affected, et cetera. I see it with associates who feel overworked, and underappreciated concerned about their future will I make partner work hours, people working so many hours, chasing $1 chasing a number, feeling like it’s so important to put in the time, and sometimes leaving maybe family relationships aside, maybe not exercising enough? You know, I gotta probably went out for a jog this morning. And some people just gotta get to the office and don’t take care of themselves physically. And then I think the other is kind of unseen, but it’s mindset, where people live in fear. They’re worried about the future. And, and they really can’t control their mind to control their thoughts and put themselves in a better place.
Steve Fretzin [06:01]
Yeah, I mean, the last one really hits home, too. I mean, between, you know, the politicking going on in this country, and the people dealing with COVID different ways, the stress levels, social media, you know, continues to be found that social media is depressing. People and teenagers, it’s just like it when things were hard enough, you know, 1020 years ago, and now it’s like, just, it just keeps compiling up. Is that kind of what you’re saying?
Gary Miles [06:26]
Yeah. And I think you make a really good point about social media. And that’s not specific to the legal profession. But people only put their best side forward. And I can have a lot of good things in my life. But you may post the picture of your new car, and your new car is better than my car, then I’m like, Man, Steve’s got this great car. And and maybe there are many ways in which my life is more together than yours. But I’m comparing my worst. I don’t like my car to your best your brand new car. Yeah. So we do that all the time. I’ve heard this phrase, which I love, which is comparison is the thief of joy. And that’s what we do on social media, we compare to other people’s best side, you know that a button when they spilled the spaghetti sauce. They didn’t put that out social media. They don’t put that they gained 30 pounds, or they had to go see a therapist because they’re stressed that won’t put the great thing. So we’re comparing that with our life. And we think about our things we want to improve and they don’t always match up with everybody’s best.
Steve Fretzin [07:26]
Yeah, I heard I heard Facebook called Fakebook. Because it’s just the people putting their bet. And I do it too. I posted some pictures of my son catching a beautiful big muskie this weekend. And yeah, I mean, did I put down the tantrum he had a week ago where, you know, he almost put his fist through a wall. No, you know, I left that off of Facebook. And I’ve got I’ve got, you know, a family friend who, you know, just continues to put beautiful things on Facebook. And I know that their family is a disaster, like, everybody’s miserable all the time. But that’s what we’re, and then on top of that, you know, there’s Instagram and some of the others that are just, you know, just showing you all this, this garbage and beautiful people and you know, all this stuff. So it’s just really hard to, to keep your mindset strong. And let’s let’s transition to that. What are like two or three things that really drive good mental health.
Gary Miles [08:19]
But I think the one thing is self awareness, being aware of our mindset and what we’re thinking about. And, you know, I’ve learned that we often have a fear, something that we think we can’t do something we think it’s gonna work out wrong. If I call Steve, will he take my call? No, he won’t. Why is that we go down this rabbit hole. And every time we think those negative thoughts, they limit us and hold us back gonna replace them with a positive one. The other important thing is, lawyers feel so much stress because they’re worried about the future. They’re worried about the outcome. I’m a trial attorney. And I used to go into trial focused on what happens if I lose, I never worry about what happens if I win. I don’t worry about what happens if I lose, what will my client do? What will that mean? What will people think of me? And I’ve learned to forget that just I love being a trial attorney. I’m good at it. Focus on what I do. Enjoy the present, enjoy the process. And don’t worry so much about the outcome. And I think it’s very, very important, just to practice self care, to shut off work when we can spend time with family and friends go for a walk, you have a dog, I got dogs, be present with our dogs and enjoy the things about them. We love, eat well eat healthy, and take care of ourselves. And I think the the one that really is the most important to me is practicing an attitude of gratitude. We all have a lot to be grateful for. And I like to saying life is about wanting what I know what I have, wanting what I have, not having what I want. So there are a lot of things in life I have to be grateful for. Maybe there are other things I wish I had, you know, maybe So I had a brand new car you posted on social media last week. But it’s about being grateful for where I am and what I have. And when I’m grateful. It’s all good. It’s all good.
Steve Fretzin [10:10]
Yeah, you know, there’s a time where I think I was all about the big house, I was all about getting a boat and all about just having more stuff. And I’m really glad that that passed, because I’m able to a sock more money away for retirement and for my son’s 529. But more importantly, when you take all that BS off your plate, and you focus on what’s important to you, family, thriving business success of others that you work with and help, and you fall in love with that. And you focus on that and that stuff. It really kind of just, it just takes the weight off your shoulders, and it just, in some people might say, Steve, that’s a that’s a losers mentality. Because, you know, you’ve got to be a winner, and you’ve got to go after it and you’ve got to have $100 million? Well, I think there’s a lot a lot to be said that money doesn’t buy happiness, and that I’d rather have ambitions for the people that are important for me and the people that I work with than ambitions to just collect dollars and buy stuff.
Gary Miles [11:12]
But I think you’re absolutely right, I call that the achievement trap. So you get that you get that million dollars that you were shooting for that was your goal you worked for for five years you have it and then where are you? It didn’t bring you happiness? It didn’t it didn’t fill the hole, it didn’t give you what you wanted, again, another million dollars. Why don’t do it either? Well, maybe if I get a bigger house, well, none of those things bring you happiness. But you find happiness when you work with attorneys, and you help their business to be better. Do you make some money doing that? Of course, the more the better you do, do you make more money? Sure. But your real sense of fulfillment comes because there’s this law firm that was struggling, and you provide a service to them, and it worked. And that lawyer thanks you for how you help them and how you helped their practice to grow. That’s what brings you happiness, a sense of fulfillment from helping other people.
Steve Fretzin [11:59]
Yeah. And I try to let attorneys that are interested in working with me talk with other attorneys, so that they can get an understanding of that relationship, and the trust and the partnering and the way that it works so that they get comfortable around what I do, but, but I do have to work on the mental game, I have to work on the time management game, I have to work on the mental game. And, and I and I’m, you know, I’m not afraid to say I’m not Tony Robbins, I’m not having people walking on coals. I’m not having people, you know, say in the mirror, like I used to do when I was a kid coming up in sales, you know, hey, I, you know, I am somebody or I am a good person or whatever. You know, I used to say in the mirror, I forget, that was a whole Brian Tracy thing back from the 80s. You know, self self assurance and all that. But, but I think you have to have the mental game. So what’s one or two things that you work on with lawyers that you have found really helpful to, to get into that attitude of gratitude. And we can say, have an attitude of gratitude. But I think we both get to that. We can say live a happy life, that doesn’t mean someone can actually do that. So what are some of the ground, the actionable ground game type things that you work on to help them with their gratitude or help them with their mental game?
Gary Miles [13:09]
I guess there are a couple of things that come to mind. The first is I asked them every day, for 30 days, to get up in the morning and write down three things are grateful for, and they can’t repeat them. Oh, wow. So that’s awesome. And you’d be amazed, like by day 28, you really have to think like, what else am I grateful for? And at the end of the month, you’ve written 90 Different things that you’re grateful for. And then they keep that list. And then where are they six months from now, when the boss said nice to him, they get all cranky about it with that list and look at what you have to be grateful for. And what it does is it puts people on a process of looking in their life for what they could be grateful for. You start off with I love my wife and I have some money, but you ended up with my dog snuggled with me this morning, and what a warm feeling that you go to smaller things that really are special. And the other is I think a lot of us struggle with resentments. Somebody wronged us, somebody hurt us look what they did to us. And I hope people are focused on forgiveness. Because if I’m resentful against someone else, all I’m doing is hurting myself. If you harm me, you did something nasty to me and unfair. And I’m angry at you doesn’t hurt you at all. You don’t even know I feel that way. Yeah, there’s no point to it. I’m just poisoning myself. So practicing forgiveness is really a very healthy way to free ourselves from that. In my program, there’s a saying we often use if I’m disturbed, the trouble lies within and when I was really mad at somebody that frustrated me the fake like, if I’m disturbed, the trouble lies within me. But the reality is it’s so empowering because I realize I’m in control of how I feel. And you know, you can’t make me mad Steve. You can’t do anything to Neither makes man unless I let you unless I give you that power. And so to learn that we’re all independent, living our own life, the boss can’t make us mad. The trial judge rules against us can’t ruin our day, I’m in control of how happy I am today.
Steve Fretzin [15:15]
And that sounds like something that almost like a skill that has to be developed or built. So it’s not something that someone just says one day, that I’m going to start forgiving people and have an attitude of gratitude. And in this type of stuff, this is something I think that has to be built up as a habit has to be built up as a as a daily practice.
Gary Miles [15:36]
Absolutely. Right. And, and, and I know I’ve, it’s taken me years to learn some of these things into practice. But of course, not always. I don’t always do it right, myself, I have times of stinky thinking. But now I have tools where I know how to handle them. So that’s how I like to work with people to help them develop those tools and develop those skills. Because you can’t change the mind. We’ve had our whole life tomorrow, just because Gary said live live live a grateful life or stop presenting people it does doesn’t take them away. It takes time. It takes practice.
Steve Fretzin [16:09]
Yeah, something my wife comes from a long, and she’s not listening at the door. But my wife comes from a long line of excessive worriers. They worry about everybody, all the time, everything. And it’s just amazing that, you know, she goes, Why are you so calm? Or why? How well am I going to do you know, this, I always separate things, what’s in my control what’s out of my control. And she doesn’t have that same ability. So I tried to teach her and she, she first was was not receptive. And then she was but I said, just say 123, let it be. And just say that, and so that really helped her to just let go of little things, you know, that are just taking up her mental energy. They’re taking up her time, and it affects her physically, too. And so
Gary Miles [16:57]
we’re very is really a big thing. And I think you you hit the nail on the head, it’s what can we control? And what can we not control. So you’re, you know, a teenage son is going out, he’s 18, he’s going out for the night, you’re worried about forgetting an axe, you have no ability to control that we taught them how to drive, he got his license, we told them what to do. When he gets in that car, we have zero control. He comes home every night. But we spent the night worrying about what was going to happen. And we had no ability, there are things in life, we can control, what’s the solution that take action, whatever it might be in our business, our practice our relationships. But if we can’t control it, why not take that fear of something’s going to happen to our son in the car and replace it with? We’re blessed with a wonderful son, he’s very responsible, and try to not worry, I know, it’s easier to say than to do. And that’s a practice like other things. But I
Steve Fretzin [17:48]
think if you can just put it into the two categories and say, This is something I can control. And this is something I can’t control, it’s out of my control. If you can somehow leverage that to 123, let it be or whatever the saying is that you can say in your head to release it. Because it’s just not healthy. There’s nothing that the positive that’s generally going to come out of trying to control something that’s that’s, that’s out of your hands.
Gary Miles [18:12]
Well, I think one really important concept for mental health is that of acceptance, to accept people as they are, do accept life as it is. circumstances as they are, you want to go to the Bears game that end up in 38 degrees and raining like heck, it’s kind of frustrating, but it is what it is. I want to go to the game and route from a team. So there are circumstances the life that happens and we can let them frustrate us because they’re not what we want them to be. But just accept it. Accept everything as it is and just focus on us and our reaction and our responses. And that’s a rainy day but me and the buzz we’re gonna have fun, you know?
Steve Fretzin [18:52]
Yeah. So let’s flip it to physical health because obviously mental and physical play a role in someone’s sustainability in the practice of law as a parent as someone that’s living a kind of a generally healthy life. So what are a couple of things that you that you work with lawyers on on their physical health, because that’s a huge part of it.
Gary Miles [19:12]
Well, I coach a number of clients on on clean nutrition, we try to identify foods that we may have allergic reactions to for some people, it’s gluten. For some people, it’s dairy. We try to eliminate too many acidic foods, which can cause inflammation and irritation. And we do a slow cleanse because we’re busy. We don’t eat so healthy, you know, go out and pick up a sandwich chips. If you get a sandwich always come to chips, and then you’re having a lot of unhealthy foods. So I give folks a 30 day program of healthy eating and we see how they feel. And I’ve concentrated a lot on men but men and women and it’s amazing. 30 days if they commit to eating well. They’ll find how much different they feel they feel emotionally better. You they feel a sense of accomplishment. They feel like they’ve taken control of their body which is theirs to, to monitor and handle. And it really, it really works. And they end to 30 days, we see what things might have been not working for me. Oh, keep the gluten Napa dairy is not a problem, we sort of try to figure out what’s you know what’s good, there are certain things we all know are bad, we all eat too much sugar. I know for me, coffee and sugar was a huge thing. Coffee in itself isn’t bad. But when you drink it by the pot it is. Now when you have it with doughnuts, it’s even worse. So I do help with a clean nutrition program. And then I have a focus on physical activity. I’m not a trainer, I’m not athletic trainer. But whatever activity we do, getting some good healthy activity every day, and a little bit of time for mental clarity, taking 10 minutes out of the day. So necessary teach meditation, but just to shut down the mind, turn off the phone and reflect. Yeah, it’s really,
Steve Fretzin [20:58]
you know, important that we consider, you know, I look, I’m sitting at my desk all day, looking at a green dot talking to in zone zoom meetings, I’m basically virtual all over the country, and have been for you know, a couple of years now, really driven by COVID. And I have to schedule breaks, I have to schedule lunch, I have to eat, I have to walk, I have to do things to keep myself active. And I play sports, I play sports three to four times a week where I’m running around for an hour and a half. And without that I just in eating. You know, we all can enjoy a nice treat once in a while. But, you know, we need to stay away from all that processed foods. I mean, processed foods are out of control right now.
Gary Miles [21:39]
Right? They really are. And they contain a lot of stuff that isn’t good for us. So eating clean, oh, natural foods is so much better.
Steve Fretzin [21:48]
Have you have you heard of the whole 30? Is that part of like part of your mind, what you’re focusing on? Or is it different than the whole 30
Gary Miles [21:54]
program I use is called Arbonne. And it’s really, really healthy, been around for quite a long time. And their focus is on eliminating allergens and potentially toxic foods. And I coach people through it and it works really, really well. I think there are other similar programs, and I really endorse all those healthy programs, it’s worth a try, because we can let ourselves get really out of shape. I’m 66. Now I want to live as long as I can. But I also want to live as healthy as long as I can. I’m an avid golfer, I’m an avid pickleball player, I like to jog, I want to be able to do those things, as long as I can. Yeah, once you know when I don’t know how many days I have, but I want to make them all as good as I can.
Steve Fretzin [22:38]
Yeah, and I think we don’t understand that, you know, time is fragile life is fragile. You know, many people know that I’ve been in some pretty traumatic and tragic situations in my life where, you know, almost died and shouldn’t really be here, like, you know, so it’s, it’s, you know, you have to look at each day as a blessing. And that attitude of gratitude, as you mentioned earlier, and just two sentences on are 30 seconds on the whole 30. And again, similar to what Gary’s talking about, if you look it up online, the whole 30 I did it, I’ve done it now a couple of different times, but essentially, you just eat whole foods for 30 days, and clear out your system. And then you bring back things back in. So you bring back in sugar and see how you feel, bring back in dairy, see how you feel. And what you’re going to notice is you’re going to it’s going to suck, you’re not gonna you’re not gonna feel good after sugar, you’re not gonna feel and it just gives you a wake up call that all the bad foods we’re putting in our bodies, it is actually affecting how in our mental health and our physical health and in our ability to stay, you know, consistent like with energy throughout the day. So you know, whether you’re talking to Gary or just looking up on the other thing I’ll say about the whole 30 and I hope I’m not, you know, overstepping boundaries here and in in getting too deep in this but there’s a book that goes along with it. Garin, you’ll appreciate it. Have you seen this book? The I don’t know. Okay, I’ll tell you the coolest thing about it. It tells you every day on the on the whole 30 how you’re going to feel each day when you cut out all the all the sugar and all the stuff that’s in your body. It says day one, and it tells you how you’re going to feel and you read it you go, Oh my God, I feel that way. Headache. You know, just you pay for you’re gonna get angry at someone. And sure enough, I eat like, I never yell and I kind of barked at my assistant. And I read it I oh my god. On day four, I actually barked at my system. So it really does kind of clarify like yeah, we know this is tough cleansing your body isn’t easy. But when you do it for 30 days, it really is it is kind of a game changer in how you’re going to look at life and look at nutrition and your body moving forward. So I highly recommend that either talk to Gary about it or read that book and give it a shot. It’s it’s
Gary Miles [24:48]
just to endorse what you said when I did Arbonne My reaction was the same. I had a lot of those same feelings. Yeah, my body is cleansing myself with the toxins that I had. And it was my intention to lose 10 pounds, I was 180, I wanted to get the 169 Because a very heavy as a kid, I was 175. In fifth grade, I wanted to get to 169 when of losing 25 pounds, and I just never felt better, I never have more energy, less pain in my joints. My mind worked better. I got up ready to go. And so it’s become a lifestyle, a lifestyle clean eating. Yeah,
Steve Fretzin [25:23]
really great stuff. And so before we go to the three best of Gary is there one final statement you want to make to my audience about general health and wellness kind of bringing it all together? Well, I
Gary Miles [25:33]
just want everybody to remember that every day we have is a gift. When we get to the point where we’re feeling too much worry or fear or stress, take a step back focus on what that’s about and, and how you can change that mindset. If I can ever be of any help to someone feel free to reach out to me on LinkedIn, glad to have just a conversation with you. Because there’s just too much stress in life. And anything we can do to make that better. I’m off work.
Steve Fretzin [26:00]
Yeah. And I know, I know, life sometimes seems long, and they seem long and weeks seem long and all that. But look, we are here for a limited amount of time. Everyone knows that. And we really need to consider you know how we want to live our lives and how we want to take care of ourselves. And it’s it’s it’s a one shot situation everybody and it doesn’t mean you can’t redeem yourself or come back from a bad situation like know Gary story, you know, rings true there. But we have to make an effort. And there’s intelligent ways to do it. So
Gary Miles [26:30]
yeah, one last thing just Sure. Every day like you said you you had some near death experiences. And I I’m getting ready to move to North Carolina from Maryland. And I’m thinking this is kind of a pain I wish I was there. Why in the heck would I wished away three weeks in my life. I only have those days why not make every day here as good as I can. So bad if I have a day, that’s bad. I need to change that and say I want to enjoy today. Whatever happens to I want to make it something because when I focus on today, it takes longer. If I’m if I’m today think about next week, it’s like I’m not enjoying today.
Steve Fretzin [27:06]
Yeah. Well, let’s talk about enjoying Cockeysville Maryland, which is where you’re from in the three best stuff. So somebody wants now that’s that’s a sort of like a suburb, if you will of Baltimore,
Gary Miles [27:18]
correct? It is okay, outside of Baltimore.
Steve Fretzin [27:21]
So, so I’ll give you a little bit of leeway if there’s something going on in Baltimore that you think is so much, you know, you know, different, better, faster, stronger, whatever, then Cockeysville. That’s fine. But if I was coming to coming to visit you and we want to go out for either a healthy meal or an unhealthy meal, maybe healthy is better. Where are you taking me I’ll treat
Gary Miles [27:39]
my wife and I love Indian food. And there’s a wonderful restaurant and right near where we live called the mid leaf. It’s great. A nice family runs it. It’s not fancy. There are fancier restaurants, some of the chain restaurants but we really love nice Indian food well prepared and we love supporting that family.
Steve Fretzin [27:59]
And the name again is meant leaf meant leaf. Wonderful, wonderful. And if we’re coming to visit you and we have before we have dinner at mid leaf, what is something to see in your area that can’t be missed, shouldn’t be missed.
Gary Miles [28:14]
We take it out to the Inner Harbor used to be Baltimore’s harbor was a mess. They had a project years ago to fix it up. There are some incredible restaurants down there. And we might have dinner down there because they’re very scenic on the harbor for someone visiting constellation is there where there’s lot of history, we have one of the best aquariums in the country called the National Aquarium. It’s just amazing. And just beautiful to have a promenade you can walk around it’s lights, it’s just beautiful. Wonderful, wonderful.
Steve Fretzin [28:45]
That sounds great loving aquariums that’s, you know, I always try to check out aquariums whenever I whenever I travel, and you know, my son is a big fish guy. He likes to catch him but he also likes to look at cool fish too. So we do that together. And then what are people in your area into what are they what are they you know, enjoying in the area?
Gary Miles [29:03]
Well, I’m into there are a lot of watersports, I think what are activities and that’s not really I’m a golfer, my brother was a boater, but we’re blessed with the Chesapeake Bay, which is just an amazing natural resource. It’s huge. So there’s a whole lot of sailing and motor boating and fishing. and Maryland is divided into Maryland and the eastern shore on the other side of the bay. And there are a lot of quaint towns there that you can access by winter. And I think that really makes Maryland unique. Having the Chesapeake Bay, we have some mountains to the west. A lot of people in the West Wind consider the mountains and we got a great beach on the coast. But in between we have the beautiful Chesapeake Bay.
Steve Fretzin [29:43]
That’s wonderful. Well, it sounds like a great place to visit and and you’re moving away because I think you want to go play some golf, right?
Gary Miles [29:50]
Yes, we have a home in Pinehurst, North Carolina. I’m an avid golfer and looking forward to getting there. My wife’s already there and I’m on my way far.
Steve Fretzin [30:00]
When I played Pinehurst, and I don’t remember the gentleman’s name, but I had a caddy who was like, I don’t know if he was 7075 or 80 years old or something like that he was still out Caddying, and he told us stories about all these pros while we’re playing. I mean, it was just the most wonderful experience not only golfing those beautiful courses, but then listening to the history from this from this, you know, sort of elderly caddy who is kind of along for the ride. And just, you know, we we had heard about him in regard to killing myself, I can’t remember his name. But anyway, it sounds wonderful if people want to get in touch with you, Gary, mostly about, you know, the success coach and helping to get healthy mentally, physically and in a better place for their life. How do they reach you?
Gary Miles [30:41]
The best way is through LinkedIn, I’m very active on LinkedIn, under my name, Gary miles, messaged me, I’ll get right back to you. And just if they’re feeling any stress, or things about their law practice, or just life or their lawyer or not, that they want to talk about, I’m open to having a chat.
Steve Fretzin [30:57]
Yeah, that’s really thoughtful of you. And I appreciate you coming on the show and sharing your wisdom. And I’m glad we connected. I think we connected on LinkedIn. And you know, and that made it really easy for us to have a chat. So just just thanks again. Appreciate it.
Gary Miles [31:11]
Thank you, Steve. I really enjoyed it.
Steve Fretzin [31:13]
Yeah. And hey, everybody, listen, bunch of stuff here. I mean, I’ve got another page of notes. I don’t know if you guys take notes. I just sit here and I scroll down everything from attitude of gratitude to, you know, the ability to forgive and compassion and all these different, you know, just just gems that Gary was able to share. And again, the whole idea here is to be that lawyer, someone who’s confident organized a skilled Rainmaker, and if you don’t have the mental and physical game down makes it very difficult to be successful in your career, and do the kinds of stuff that I’m trying to help lawyers with every day. So really consider that and go back and rewind and listen to some of the things again and really take heed. And listen, I appreciate you spending time with us today. Take care be well be safe. We’ll talk soon.
Narrator [32:02]
Thanks for listening to be that lawyer, life changing strategies and resources for growing a successful law practice. Visit Steve’s website fretzin.com. For additional information, and to stay up to date on the latest legal business development and marketing trends. For more information and important links about today’s episode, check out today’s show notes